Follow the Leader
One of the hardest truths that I’ve come to understand in marriage is the fact that my husband is the leader, and I’m not. I was made for him, and not the other way around. Can I get a virtual “amen,” somebody? I’m by no means inferior to him. Don’t get it twisted. But wives have a clear mandate in scripture to support our husbands in his God-given role as the leader of our families.
A lot of times we want to support our husbands by taking action to get our God-centered goals accomplished. Then when he fails to move fast enough or don’t like how he’s leading we tend to push back in our own ways. Don’t try to exclude yourself from that last statement. You do it too. Don’t lie to yourself. The curse didn’t stop at you.
Remember the Curse?
After the fall (when Adam and Eve ushered sin into the world), women were cursed with a desire to rule over our husbands. That curse didn’t overlook you. We all struggle with doubting our husbands leadership, and even their lack of qualification to lead at times. But that’s dangerous. First, off, you wouldn’t qualify either. Secondly, we have to cut our husbands some slack. They’re wired totally different from us. And on top of that, God is going to hold them accountable for whatever mistakes we make as a family. When you look in scriptures, the authors don’t credit Eve with the Fall. They credit Adam! Can you imagine what kind of pressure that must be for your husband?!
They already have the odds stacked against them. The world hates fathers, especially in this age. They are neglected, silenced, and even discriminated against in terms of having a say in the lives of their children. (If you don’t believe me, visit your local walmart on Father’s Day and compare it to Mother’s Day. Go to an abortion clinic and ask the abortionist if a Father can petition for the mother to have their child.)
Supporting Your Husband in Prayer
As wives, we don’t want to add to the voices of those who are against our husbands. We want to be for our husbands in every way! This is not something that we can accomplish in our own strength, remember the curse. This is a supernatural goal that can only be accomplished with some divine intervention. Don’t you think we would’ve already fix our jacked up selves already if we had the power to do it ourselves. We need help! S-O-S! S-O-S!
As daughters of the living God, we know that He is willing and able to change our hearts and to build up our husbands if we humble ourselves and ask Him to do it. So let’s ask Him ladies! Let’s pray that God would grant us the peace to relinquish command to our husbands, to support him rather than tear him down with our doubts, and finally let’s pray that God would transform our husbands into God-fearing spiritual leaders! God has taught me first hand that my attitude towards my husband’s leadership matters, and in an effort to share what He’s taught me I’ve put together this prayer strategy for supporting your husband based on the scriptures from Ephesians 5. Here are 10 scripture passages to pray over your husband as he leads your family, and over yourself as you devote yourself to supporting him.
Pray for His Personal Relationship with God.
1. “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (Eph 5:2, NLT)
2. “Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them.” (Eph 5:10-11, NLT)
3. “And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Eph 5:20, NLT)
Pray for His Leadership Role as Your Husband.
4. “Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” (Eph 5:16-17, NLT)
5. “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” (Eph 5:25-29, NLT)
Pray for His Witness.
(Psst. Your “witness” is the message your lifestyle speaks to those around you. This comes from Acts 1:8 where Jesus tells His disciples that they will be his witnesses throughout the earth. Your life should testify–like a witness in a courtroom–that Jesus is Lord.)
6. “Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.” (Eph 5:3, NLT)
7. “Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.” (Eph 5:4, NLT)
8. “Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts.” (Eph 5:18-19, NLT)
Pray that God teaches You to Respect and Support Your Husband.
9. “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.” (Eph 5:22-24, NLT)
10. Ephesians 5:32-33 teaches us that marriage is God’s portrait of Christ’s love for the Church. Being a wife won’t always be easy, but when we commit to following God’s game plan for marriage, which includes fulfilling our marital roles as wives, God will honor that. He gives us the peace, grace, and patience we need to get through the tough and more frustrating times. Remember, that your husband does love you. Remember that you’re not always right. Remember to pray for your marriage on a daily basis! Support your husband in prayer, and honor God by being a faithful wife even when it’s hard.
God bless your marriage & live Christ out loud!